By the time I used to be 24 years outdated, my life was in full shambles. I had long-standing substance abuse issues that destroyed my marriage to my highschool sweetheart and ruined a promising navy profession. As soon as divorced and ejected from the navy, I offered medicine and trafficked weapons. My habit and unlawful enterprise culminated in an incident wherein an harmless bystander was killed. I used to be convicted of second-degree homicide and sentenced to simply underneath 30 years to life.
As soon as in jail, actuality was so onerous to face that I did the whole lot I might to flee it. I misplaced much more of myself in medicine, violence and jailhouse politics. In my extra lucid moments I knew that I needed to change, however I didn’t suppose it was attainable. Moreover, I did not know tips on how to begin. Then in the future, at age 30, I did essentially the most benign-seeming factor that modified the whole lot: I give up consuming soda.
I wasn’t notably well being acutely aware, however I had learn some articles about how soda can contribute to well being points like diabetes and weight problems, and the way it can weaken tooth enamel. One article mentioned that if a tooth is positioned in a glass of cola in a single day, it can utterly dissolve by morning. That’s an city fable, however it did make me consider a trick I had realized within the Military, which was to pour a can of Coke within the laundry to assist take away grease from clothes.
So I made a decision I wasn’t going to drink soda anymore. It was a comparatively straightforward dedication to make in jail: I might solely purchase soda as soon as each two weeks after I went to the commissary, and consuming it chilly was a rarity since ice was onerous to come back by.
Nonetheless, it felt good to make the choice to deprive myself of one thing and keep it up. This was the primary time in my life that I had made that type of change, and it illuminated one thing I had solely vaguely been conscious of — {that a} main supply of my life’s issues was my lack of self-discipline.
That was a reality I had by no means acknowledged earlier than, as a result of to take action would have meant admitting weak spot. My ego wouldn’t enable for that. Quitting soda introduced the issue into clear focus and gave me the arrogance to attempt to do extra.
And I did do extra. I dedicated to lifting weights three days every week. Then 4. Then 5. The rise in my bodily energy and the modifications I used to be seeing in my physique additional stoked my confidence and motivated me to maintain going. So I realized to talk satisfactory Spanish, field and play chess. I taught myself to litigate by studying case regulation, apply aids and regulation journals and dealing on individuals’s circumstances. My newfound self-discipline even helped me give up smoking after which medicine.
Together with my behavioral modifications got here modifications in the way in which I considered issues, and the way in which I felt about myself. If persona is outlined as an individual’s sample of pondering, feeling and behaving, then I succeeded in altering mine.
Years later, in a psychology class, I got here throughout a concept of persona change primarily based on the work of psychology professor and researcher Nathan W. Hudson. It posited that an individual can change their persona in three steps. First, they have to imagine that altering a facet of their persona is each fascinating and attainable. Second, they have to work on altering behaviors which can be related to that facet, utilizing small, actionable objectives. Third, their behavioral modifications should develop into habits that calcify into traits.
I wasn’t fascinated about psychology after I began my strategy of transformation. Nonetheless, my expertise lined up with what I later realized. Quitting soda was my the first step. That straightforward act allowed me to hint the catastrophic outcomes of my life again to my lack of self-discipline, and it satisfied me that change was attainable.
Step two was to make extra behavioral modifications associated to self self-discipline, like lifting weights and studying to play chess. By selecting comparatively minor modifications at first, and implementing them incrementally, they have been straightforward for me to maintain.
This led to step three: My new behaviors turning into habits, and people habits elevating my stage of self-discipline. This elevation allowed me to sort out extra vital behavioral modifications like quitting smoking and medicines.
After years of repeating this three-step cycle, I can say that I’ve altered my persona. I’m now one of the disciplined individuals I do know. In consequence, I’ve had many optimistic developments in my life.
I earned an affiliate diploma, graduating on the prime of my class. I’m at the moment on observe to do the identical whereas incomes my bachelor’s diploma. I used to be chosen to talk to state legislators and the lieutenant governor about increasing school in prisons. I obtained paralegal certification, and I work within the regulation library serving to others train their rights in courtroom. I train the authorized analysis class and tutor different school college students. I counsel highschool college students as a part of the Youth Help Program. And I married essentially the most excellent girl on the planet.
On the floor, this story might appear to be one in all triumph. In actuality, nevertheless, it’s one in all bitter irony. Solely after inflicting a lot struggling was I capable of make the modifications that would have prevented that violence and tragedy within the first place. However the worst of what’s executed can’t be undone. I can by no means make up for the previous, however I can attempt to offset it as a lot as attainable by being the very best particular person I can going ahead. I’m getting higher on a regular basis, and I owe all of it to quitting soda.
Eric Williams is a regulation clerk, author, instructor and advocate at Shawangunk Correctional Facility in New York. In 2024, he was chosen by the State College of New York as an envoy for the growth of upper schooling in jail. He’s serving 30 years to life for second-degree homicide and associated expenses.
